The Secret Garden Was Less Secret

A hostel is no place for three young gals to spend five months in Ireland. (Did I or did I not just warn you all about Waterfalls in Tip 32?!) Thus, you’ll arrive in Galway looking for your forever home.

The challenge is that the Irish urban planners of yore were constantly wasted. As such, there are three 4 McDonough Drives in the city center alone. So when you see an ad in the Galway Advertiser for a house at this very address, you’ll spend the next 19 hours looking for it. And just for fun, it will pour the entire time. And your umbrella will break, because why not.

Approximately 10 hours into your house hunting, you’ll call the landlord and ask for help. But when dear, sweet Tom answers the phone, he’ll inform you that–funny story–he’s not at the house where you’re supposed to meet him, he’s actually at the pub. But hey, relax–there’s a key in the rafters above the door. You can just let yourselves in and have a look.

And you can drown in your pint, Tom.

Galway / June 2008 / At Least It's a Good Story

Galway / June 2008 / At Least It’s a Good Story

Once under the doorway of the correct home, you’ll face your next character-building challenge: How the HELL will you get the keys down?

You’ll reason that Liz is the lightest of the three, and as such, she’ll have to climb on your back and get the keys. You’re the base in this cheerleader pyramid, no questions asked. In an equally important role, Bridget will need to take your camera and capture the experience.

With Liz’s legs dangling around your neck, you’ll launch her skyward. The next 10 minutes will be spent alternatively laughing hysterically–Liz threatening to “piss all the way down your back”–and listening to her piece together a masterful string of expletives as she runs her hands along the “cockroach-infested” rafters.

So just do yourselves a favor and stop looking. You’ll sooner find the requisite licks to the center of a Tootsie pop.

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