Kitchen Whisks Are No Match for Stank

Kitchen whisks, lest you get confused, are best used to stir pancake batter, not wash soiled undergarments.

But when you embark on a two-week hiking adventure in Washington state with one week’s worth of underwear and socks, even a simpleton can do the math.

Yet by day eight, you’ll be shocked at just HOW badly everything smells. Like, dry-heave inducing fragrances emanating from the trunk. At one point, you’ll accidentally run over a chipmunk and will be unable to determine if you’re smelling a tire full of bloodied rodent hair or a pair of socks.

Olympic National Park / July 2014 / At Least It's a Good Story

Olympic National Park / July 2014 / At Least It’s a Good Story

Unfortunately, you’re staying in a tiny cabin on a Native American reservation in coastal Washington and there are no laundry facilities to be had. Coffee huts every five feet, but no washers and dryers. This is a well-caffeinated, smelly people.

As such, you and your two travel companions will take to stirring your undergarments in a sink full of Tide with a kitchen whisk. If it can beat out clumps of brownie mix, surely it can beat out the stank.

But try as you might to get all Laura Ingalls Wilder with your makeshift washing process–your best friend’s boyfriend feeling not at all awkward as he stirs your delicates–your clothes will actually smell worse than ever before. Because now they’re still dirty, but they’re also damp.

Which reminds me: If you’re staying in Cabin 3, I would NOT make pancakes

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