Homeless Women Are Single Women

As any respectable woman can attest, the better part of America runs amok with hos on Halloween. Like, exposed labia.

Determined not to flash your own inner folds, you make a promise very early on. No slutty costumes on Halloween. Nope, you’ll go for the other extreme: Just the most unattractive dregs of society. Women who couldn’t give it away. Your Granny Mildred, perhaps.

New York City / October 2012 / At Least It's a Good Story

New York City / October 2012 / At Least It’s a Good Story


As such, you’ll travel to New York City for Halloween dressed as the pigeon lady from “Home Alone 2.” You’re on the prowl for a gentleman caller and excited to see what’s poppin in the Big Apple, but you quickly come to realize that no one is interested in a homeless woman carrying around several ceramic homing pigeons and a bucket of seed while covered in homemade bird shit.

But perhaps it’s for the best. In a costume with that many folds, no one’s seeing your own.

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