Single Women Are Pathetic Losers
Let’s face it, ladies–if you’re a widow or a divorcee, you may as well put on your loose-fitting pants, rescue several dozen feral cats and wait for the inevitable day when you’re buried alive under a pile of hoarded egg cartons.
In the mean time, there’s a book out there to help with your debilitating loneliness. This 1968 gem, “Women Alone,” is available at the Charleston, S.C., book fair, and includes the following pearls of wisdom:
“Do you know what I had for dinner last night? Two martinis and a peanut butter sandwich.” – Divorcee, Manhattan
“The son of a bitch smoked himself to death, and here I am with five children.” – Widow, Chicago
“If you didn’t know how to handle money before, you better learn. All these ‘kind’ men are out to rook us.” – Divorcee, Hong Kong
“There is only one advantage to being single. You don’t have to share the bathroom.” – Divorcee, Long Island
Hard lesson learned in Charleston: It does not get better.